I need a really serious advice/help/suggestions
(f15) I am extremely depressed. I have bipolar depression. I cant even function normally anymore. I cant focus not even for a minute. I am raised by my extremely abusive parents and in a very toxic household. I dont wanna get into any detail about the abuse
So here is my story
I used to go to a normal high school, but I was extremely depressed there, did not really have any friends (mainly because of racism and segregation), I go to school for 12 hours a day, from 5am to 5:30pm. It was way too much for me. In school, I was extremely unproductive, unmotivated and lack of focus. I am an INFP-T, I daydream 90% of the time, I have this reality I escape to whenever I just need an escape from my current a reality. Its a little embarrassing I know
So long story short my dumb*** told my dad that I want to enrol to this British homeschool program, and I managed to convince them. main reason I wanted to be homeschool was because I was way too depressed and I really do not give a flying fu*k about school anymore and I thought homeschooling is so much better
It is so much worse. I really think Im gonna be ending everything already. This homeschool program makes me so so so much more depressed than I already was, I dont even have anyone to talk to daily. It is so hard since this is a new curriculum for me, my old school used to go by the Singaporean O-level and I am just not used to it. Also I really think school is unnecessary for me (I mean knowledge is important but the things im currently studying is basically useless for my future.) I am not planning to go to college/university or whatsoever after I complete this exam. Oh, not to mention the abuse has gotten so much worst that I tried to K word myself because I could not take it anymore.
The exam will be taken place next year of October 2022 and it has been 7 months since I’ve enrolled in this school and I haven’t done not even a single study session. basically most of the time I “act” like I am studying in front of my parents just to please them
I am planning to move to Chicago,IL as a real estate agent right when I turn 18. I know a LOT of thing about real estate and its market. I know a lot of this finance stuffs that a 15 year old basically shouldn’t know I guess? I just love learning about money and any sort of market.
If you dont know, you dont need a degree to be a real estate agent, all you need to do is take the state real estate exam and there you go. you have a license! I know I make it sound so easy but honestly the exam is pretty easy for my standard and im pretty confident in acing it.
So, I was thinking. I am extremely depressed in studying my current school syllabus. but I find the joy and happiness in studying real estate, stock market, data analytics and so on. Since I have 100% planned not to go college after high school, do you think I still should focus on my school? Or should I just focus more on the field I am interested into?